Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Fall to my Knees..

So as you may all know, in the past few months, the price of crude oil had DROPPED tremendously. At first everyone is thinking HECK YES $1.50 a gall at the pump. But wait!! At what cost? I'm not sure how OPEC works or who makes their decisions, but why are we buying fuel from a foreign country, supporting THEIR Economy, while ours is laying off tens of thousands!!?? I am trying to really hold myself together in the recent days/weeks. First it was Schlumberger announcing 9K lay off, now its Baker Hughes announcing 7k+!! Just to remind you, 1. this is Ladd's company he works for, 2. Baker was just recently bought our by Haliburton (which by the way is estimated to lay off 7K+ too in the coming months). So as I sit here typing, I am in continuous prayer that Ladd retains his job through all this bc IF he is laid off its not only the INCOME we will be out, but also health insurance, dental, eye care, and an amazing 401K program (which I have no idea how this would pan out if he was laid off). Since I am a SAHM we would be losing our ONLY income. My question is, HOW do you pay for your house? Buy food? WHERE do you get health insurance? HOW THE HELL DO YOU LIVE OFF OF NOTHING!! LITERALLY!! HOW DO YOU SUPPORT 3 KIDS AND KEEP THEM HEALTHY!!??  We already live WAY below our means, yes we are about to take a trip to Colorado, and we could be saving that instead of spending it, but reality, the ONLY thing we will be spending money on is gas to get there. Our good friends James and Bethany live there and are able to find ski passes for us through her school and we don't have to rent any equipment because they have it already. So all the major expenses are free already!!

Like I said I am REALLY trying to be calm and just leave it up to God on what's going to happen. But what I am mostly experiencing (besides anxiety and panic) is ANGER!! I don't want to slander or talk ill of anyone but damn Obama!! WHERE IS THE WORLD IS YOUR STUPID LITTLE HEAD!!?? WHY do you think its ok to allow OPEC to buy Oil from a different country while yours is going to hell in a hand basket!! You ARE the president, I would think you could override them, right? Or do you want this country to fail, just as you come out of office? Taking our religion and rights away, and dropping our employment so low, that majority will be in poverty. Not only will the employment be dropping but you will have an INCREASE in welfare applicants and dependents!! How do you recover from this when the scale is so one sided!!?? You have ALWAYS preached about how you want to increase employment and keep unemployment at an all time low, well shit, how do you do that when 3 of your top Oil Companies just laid off 16-20k+ employees!!?? How does that work with your pie charts and line graphs? Are you decreasing your salary and other office members to compensate for what is being lost? Nope, you still are taking LAVISH vacations, and playing golf while others are fighting and dying for your damn freedom! While others are fighting to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. While others are sleeping in a cardboard box on the cold wet street, starving. While others are dying of disease or illness bc they cant afford your joke of healthcare. Ridiculous!

For those who think Oilfield people are so selfish for wanting oil prices to rebound, which causes the price at the pump to increase, just so we can continue to live lavishly. NEWS FLASH!! Some of us (like my family) DO NOT LIVE LAVISHLY!! We STILL struggle. We aren't living paycheck to pay check bc we do have some cushion, but I am NOT out buying designer purses and driving a brand new decked out car or living is a HUGE house. We live in a small older home, more than half the size of what we lived in a year ago, I drove a 250+k mile car till it didn't run anymore, and if it weren't for our dear friends, I would STILL be driving a beater, and I don't even carry a purse, I carry a backpack (which I got a baby shower for Greyson). I have NEVER owned designer ANYTHING, and the ONLY clothes I buy is from the clearance rack at Penny's or Kohls and most of my kids clothes are hand me downs or from Once Upon a child. So yeah.. I haven't experienced that lavish lifestyle yet.

Oil prices effect EVERYONE!! It trickles down to everyone in the economy. I am FB member of this group called "Oilfield Families of America" and one member easily put what I was thinking into words. I think it has a few bad words. But he explains how EVERYONE is effected whether you think so or not. Its a long read but VERY informative!! So this is how he explains everything.

From Shawn P. :

"I may get booted for this but here goes. This post goes out to ALL of the people that secretly or quietly hate on oilfield employees for the life that they have bled, sweat and sacrificed half their lives for. Without the oil and gas industry you wouldn't have 97% of the things you own now. Take a good look around your house, everything you see from the carpet on you floor to the television on your wall was made drone petroleum products, which come from the oilfield. Once every three to four years we go through this where the price per barrel falls causing the price at the pumps to fall and we have to hear others vent their opinions on sites about how they are glad oilfield workers are losing their jobs, and they hope our kids starve, we get our homes and cars taken away that all we are arrogant and blow our money on trucks and guns while you struggle to buy $0.99 cheeseburgers that you apparently had to get to McDonald's in something that runs and operates from petreum products. GUESS WHAT, it's not OUR fault your lazy fat asses didn't get off the couch many years ago instead of settling for welfare or other city aids and better yourself for you families or do what you have to do to support them, saving the money you earn so that you can afford to pay $3.50 / gal at the pump. NOPE, instead you work your jobs and at the end of the week, you call up good ol mom and have her watch your all six of your kids while you go out and drink your pay checks away laughing at the aftermath and the photos of the good time you had and posting it to Facebook then hitting the grind again Monday morning with a sour ass look on your face hating the world cause now good ol mom has to be called again only this time to loan ur broke asses money to get back and forth to work and help buy those $.99 cheeseburgers. So, for all of you that bitch and complain quietly behind our backs for only wanting our families to have descent lives and provide for with an honest job or on a social media site, how bout lookin a roughneck up stand in his face and telling them to their face you hope they lose their job and struggle to feed his kids. Then I want you to post the outcome of that!! Oh I know, you can then use your FREE Obama phone to call the police that have been so violently abused over the last couple of months and give them your complaint!! Bet you don't hear a damn thing from these same complaining ppl when shots are being passed out, beer tabs paid, bills are being assisted in paying, or groceries helped in buying from a friend or relative that makes oilfield cash. All or most of us that make the living that we do, actually enjoy helping out our families and friends because it's the right thing to do. My family and friends would never talk like that so those ppl are far out of the radar lol. EVERYTHING we own comes from the oilfield. I asked someone earlier, "Name one thing in your house that doesn't come from the oilfield"? Their response was, "water"!! Think about what u said moron. Where the hell do u think water comes from....THE GROUND!! And how pray tell did u get it out of the ground....by drilling. From machinery, which runs and operates off of what we (oilfield hands) pull out of the ground. Everything that you buy in the stores or consume in some way the oilfield industry played a major part in. Would love to see some of these wining complainers walk their asses to the bar next time they wanna go out. Even if u couldn't afford a car, because of the oilfield we have bikes as well that you can ride, where do you think the rubber for the tires came from. Look around your houses. Even the wooden bed posts, picture frames dinner table whatever it is you have. It took some kind of machinery to make that, which ALL of these oilfield workers including myself have worked all these years to do for ALL of you to have nice things in ALL of your homes. And in return I read where someone had the nerve to post a comment saying they are glad to see all of us "arrogant assholes" that do nothing but BLOW money on trucks and guns struggle to pay bills and feed our kids. FYI, we can blow our money any way we see fit, you want money to blow, how bout quit sticking it up ur noses, into your veins or in a pipe, strive a little harder for your family as like the "OILFIELD HANDS" did and quit your bitching. Heaven forbid our next president should be a former roughneck, cause that would be the only one in 40 years I'd vote for, not only does the decrease in price per gallon at the pump affect oilfield workers, as it continues to plunge it will eventually effect every business in every town."



Wednesday, December 31, 2014

New Years Resolutions

It so cliché to say, "My New Years resolution will be...??" Well to be honest I never really made one. Or not that I can remember. But I think this year is time for change. Instead of "Resolutions" I think I will go for a "Bucket List". So heres to saying good bye to 2014 and welcoming 2015.

1.) The infamous "Lose Weight". Instead of just saying that, I want to get healthy in 2015. Not just lose weight, but to eat healthier, exercise more, and be more active.
2.) Grow in my faith. After 2013 (See previous post) I have had difficult time with my Faith in God and understanding the "Why Me?" So this year I want to restore my faith and have a healthier relationship with God.
3.) Go to a place I have never been. Even if its just down the road.. Someplace new and exciting.
4.) I said this back in 2014, but run either a 3k or 5k or marathon. Yeah me!! I would LOVE to do a Color Run!!
5.) Finish 5 projects that I started and never finished. Like, scrapbooks, sewing projects, crocheting.
6.) Do some small remodeling. (ESPECIALLY in the electrical area). Like: painting walls, taking down awful wallpaper, getting rid of the 80s pink color bathroom, and hopefully new flooring in the living/kitchen area (sick of carpet under the kitchen table)

These all may seem crazy and different but I think its all DOABLE and with in reason.

I hope this next year brings new and exciting things to our family. The further I get away from 2013 the better and I think 2015 will be better than 2014.  To reflect on our year..

January - Greyson AND Braelyn started in a new school in a new town.

February - I turned 28

March - I started coaching Greyson's Tball team and Greyson had his first Tball Game!!

April - Ladd had an BIG interview for the job he is at now. We are so blessed he was qualified and accepted!!

May - Our precious Emma Faith was born!!

June - Ladd went out on his first Hitch on the Rigs. Braelyn turned 3!!!

July - for the 4th we traveled to Granbury (around where I grew up). Greyson also lost his first tooth!! We also added a new member to the family, Forrest. *-

August - As a family we headed to Six Flags just before school started. Greyson's first day in Kindergarten.

September - Greyson turned 6!! Braelyn started PreK 3 yr old.

October - We had fun dressing up for Halloween. Greyson was Dracula, Army man, Duck Dynasty. Braelyn was a fairy unicorn, and Emma was just cute..

November - We celebrated thanksgiving at Aunt Debra's for Ladds side of the family and then we headed to Brownwood for my side of the family. Greyson also lost his 2nd tooth!!

December - I got CHICKENS!! As for Christmas.. We did Christmas early, actually 2 weeks early because Ladd was about to leave for a hitch. Then the week of Christmas we all went to my moms house and we opened up presents Christmas morning. We are still waiting to do Ladd's side due to the fact Ladd is still gone.

So yeah pretty crazy year which FLEW by. Who knew having three kids would literally make time vanish!! Only 5 short months and Emma will be 1 and in 6 months Braelyn will be 4!! Holy cannoli!!I wished they didn't have to grow up and stay small and cuddly forever!!

I pray that 2015 our family stays healthy and strong and I pray the oil industry doesn't completely TANK and gas prices rebound. This is for the sake of all the Oilfield Families out there.


Sunday, December 28, 2014

"Keep the Change you Filthy Animal"

Merry Freaking Christmas!!

Instead of back tracking and filling you in with everything that has happened over the past few weeks, I am going to start with what happened last week.

So on Monday before Christmas, I traveled to Brownwood with just Emma. Greyson and Braelyn were already there with my parents. I was excited because one it was Christmas and two, I was driving my new car! (See below) Tuesday morning rolls around and I wake up like normal and check the banking account because I planned on paying our December bills later that day. (I am a huge procrastinator and HATE paying bills so I have everything set up so its due at the end of the month haha..) I always pay our bills online through our online banking, have done this for 5 yrs now with no issues.

So at that point everything is all good, only to get a text from Ladd an hour or so later asking, "Whats up with the checking account? Have you looked at it lately?" Why yes I was just about to sit down and do bills. Concerned I looked at it real quick thinking, what could possibly be wrong.?! Miss Rasheeda Rhodes had cleared our savings and checking accounts. Frantically I call our bank. Turns out Miss Rhodes LOGGED into our online account, transferred money from our savings to our checking, created herself as a QuickPay Bill Pay, and then proceeded to pay herself everything that was in our checking. Being the amazing bank they are, Chase recognized this as suspicious and cancelled the transfer immediately and it was all refunded to us soon after catching it ourselves. At the point while I was on the phone with the banker, they froze our checking/savings account, cancelled our debit cards, and froze our online banking account. So with NO money available, only the cash we had in our wallet, (which I didn't have because I HATE carrying cash), I couldn't pay bills. Now let me remind you I was in Brownwood and Ladd was out on a Rig so a Chase Bank was no where close to either of us. To get this completely straightened out we had to go into a Branch and reset everything.

THANKFULLY Ladd was able to come home Christmas Eve for a casing break, so we made a "quick" trip to Abilene (Over an hour away) to go to a Chase bank. After sitting with Mr. Tyler for over an hour we had accomplished: Closing our  old account, opening a new account, cancelling our debit cards and checks, ordering new debit cards and checks, creating new online profile/account. Then we realized Ladd's direct deposit which would be going thru Thursday night would be bounced back to Baker then Lord knows how long it would have taken them to reissue the check, so we reopened the old account so that deposit could go thru and all we had to do was call and get someone to transfer it over to the new account Friday. Since Chase required us to run virus scans on our computers we couldn't officially set up our online accounts. So almost a week later I have to go back into the bank tmrw to get that all set up and officially close the other account.

Just in case you don't understand what closing an account all spirals into let me give you an idea:
1.) All my bill pay accounts have to be inputted BACK into my online checking account
     a.) This requires tedious account numbers and addresses and account information
2.) My TollTag auto pay has to be reset
3.) My Netflix account has to be reset
4.) My Paypal account has to be reset
5.) My auto payment on several bills have to be reset (Includes car insurance and school loans)
**If you EVER had to deal with Salle Mae you will understand how this is a huge PAIN IN THE ASS!!**
6.) Remembering a new PIN #, Log In name and password, account number.

I spent close to 2 hours yesterday calling all my bills and school loans trying to get extensions on everything because I had NO WAY to pay them. A few ppl were like, "Do you have a check? All we need is the account number." HA DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ME PPL!!?? Where do these companies find their workers?  So I am hoping everything can get back on track tmrw morning after I head to the bank for the LAST time in regards to this mess!!

Now on to the good parts about the past few weeks!!

So about a month ago, my Trailblazer, just died. I was driving to the store and it just stopped. Everything on the dash board, wipers, lights, windows, AC, everything, still was on and working. Just wouldn't start or go. So after spending 2 weeks with a mechanic thinking it was the computer, replacing said computer, it still didn't work. So we towed it to the Dealership and turns out it was the ignition switch. Well at this point I am over it all. As soon as we got it back, I put it up for sale. It sold with in 12 hours of being posted on Craigslist!! BAAM! Well, just about the time we started having the car issues our good friends, Brad and Ragan was looking at buying a new car and thought of us when it came to the car they had. They cut a HUGE deal and after setting up financing, we HAVE A NEW CAR!! Ever since I HAD to get rid of my last Expedition, which I missed SO MUCH, I told Ladd I don't want anything else, but another Expedition. Well Ragan's Expedition was a 2006 King Ranch. It is by far the fanciest car I have ever had, and I love it!! Oh and the kids LOVE it too!! It is was/is a huge blessing and I CAN NOT be grateful or thankful enough for Brad and Ragan and their love and caring heart they have for our family, which always seems to be in need at the most inopportune times! Its loaded with DVD player, Touch Screen navigation/radio, Heated/AC seats (my fav), sun roof, back up camera, and NICE, REAL leather seats!! All that bank fraud crap can suck it! I got a new car!! Haha..

Over Christmas we were at my moms house and on Christmas day all my dad's family came down from Archer City and Mineral Wells area to celebrate. Mom and Lily had cooked AWESOME Tamales and enchiladas, which were gone in no time!! After eating and opening presents mom wanted to get pictures of everyone. So I did a little side by sides to give you perspective on how our family is growing is just 3 short years. The top ones were in 2011 and the bottom ones are the ones we JUST took at my moms. 2014
This is my Granny and all her grandkids.
Top: Kouri, Ryan, Mathew, Canyon, Caleb
Ashley, Luke, Granny
Bottom: Ryan, Kouri, Caleb, Matthew, Canyon
Ashley, Luke, Granny

This is my Parents with their Grandkids.
The Haehn Family is expecting a new addition in 2015 which will make for 6 grandkids.

This picture is of my dad and his not so little brothers. Believe it or not my dad is the SMALLEST of his siblings.

 Just to give you a perspective. There is a small incline and I am wearing 2 inch heels. I am "slightly" shorter than all my cousins. I am 5'10" (besides Luke) everyone else including my brothers, are all AT LEAST 6'1" or taller!!
I know my kids made it out like thieves.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

The Holidays and Family

Its been a while and I apologize. In the past few weeks (or months really), things have been so hectic. From school starting, to Fall Ball, and Emma growing like a weed I haven't had much time to do much. With the Holidays Rapidly approaching I have no idea how I found time to blog. I guess its because, Emma is asleep, the two older kids are outside with Ladd, and while I was rocking Emma, Ladd picked up the house. So I guess I have 10 minutes before Emma's 6th sense picks up that I am about to do something.
Turkey day is TMRW!! WHAT!?? How did time fly so fast!! This time last year we were getting the BEST news we had in a long time. For most of you know last year was a terrible trying time for our family. It got WAY ugly the week or two before thanksgiving, and for a moment there I didn't think I was strong enough to make it through. With Ladd and our parents and some REALLY close friends we made it through. This time of the year I am SO thankful for my family and the friends that have always been there no matter what, ready to take on our burdens with us. Its also the time of the year when I lost 2 of my grandparents roughly 3 and yrs ago.  I miss each of them so dearly because they both taught me so much and not a day goes by that I don't think about them.
My grandpa never met Braelyn, I was only 3 months pregnant when he passed away. I still remember the day I got the phone call from Kouri, the exact moment, where I was standing, leaning against our couch for support. After being in the hospital from falling and when we thought he was doing so good in therapy and rehab, he passed away so suddenly and unexpectedly. I am so THANKFUL he was able to meet his first Great Grand child Greyson. Greyson was only 2 when he passed but he still remembers him as the "Old Man with white face hair". There are so many fond memories of him that I cherish. From staying summers with him and Granny, to all the birthdays, Easters, Thanksgivings and Christmas' at their house in Granbury. I remember when he hid on the roof on Halloween and scared the Ba-Jesus out of us, and when he pretended he poisoned the chips on April Fools, to the awesome fire truck he never let us play with!! He also taught us so much, like every bad action has a consequence. I think he would always say "The Devils going to get you." This came very clear to me when after torturing a frog and killing it, not even hours later, I stubbed my toe and scraped the end of it off. (I always did this because I never wore shoes)  I learned the hard way to stop smacking at the table because he would reach across and thump us across the head, and to never wear hats at the table, and mostly for the guys, to wear a shirt at the table (I know this is a given but for my family who always ran around shirtless, this is a big thing!!) I remember that DARN pond and water fall in the back yard, that he tried so hard to keep up and have gold fish in, but eventually giving up and filled it in with dirt.
My Grandma Hadley, passed away when Braelyn was only 4 months old. In her lasts months, strongly battling stage 4 cancer, Greyson, Braelyn and I would travel to Aunt Sandra's to go help with taking care of her. My fondest memories of Grandma Hadley was from the few days I would stay with her and Papa Jerry during the summers. I  remember walking to the fabric store that was just behind her house and picking out patterns and fabrics. Then coming home and watch her cut the patterns out and then she would teach me how to sew the pieces together. I like to credit her for my craftiness. She was always showing me how to do things from making cute decorations for Christmas, to sewing, to crocheting, and cross stitch. She also took part in my love to cook. I remember thinking it was SO cool when we made our own play dough. She also changed my thinking about how cool "Lunch Ladies" were! She worked in a school cafeteria for a LONG time and I bet she was the best cook ever!! I remember sitting at the bar stool in the corner and watching her cook Thanksgiving stuffing and dressing and not LETTING ANYONE touch what she was working on. Even in those last months she couldn't leave the kitchen. She may not have been cooking herself but she sure enough made her presence with commands and directions. I am so THANKFUL I was able to get most of her recipes and am able to cook. I also remember riding on my Papa Jerry's shoulder's as he did his morning laps around the house. My Papa Jerry passed away from a devastating bout of cancer when I was just over 3 months pregnant with Greyson. I remember listening to his book on tapes, sitting in his lap and watching Price is Right with him and how he always had on hand on Grandma's shoulder when we were out and about and I LOVED pushing the button on his talking radio. I was always in awe of how a blind man can count money, how he could play the piano and trumpet, sometimes at the same time, and now he could wash laundry (Grandma had put a little dollop of nail polish on the knob and panel so he could line them up for the right cycle). He taught me how to play "3 Blind Mice" on the piano. I always wanted him to be the one playing the piano at my wedding, but he passed away just little over a year before. To me he was the best piano player and I could sit and listen to him play for hours. I remember when I stayed with them, we would go to a hall, I guess it was the lodge or something, and him and his band would play while everyone one else would dance. My favorite part, was when he would sing and play.
This picture was placed next to the piano at my wedding.
The only Grandparent that I have is my Granny. I am so thankful and glad she is able to experience her Great Grandchildren.

Growing up I remember watching her cook too. I learned homestyle cooking from her. She taught me how to make fried tators and red beans, meatloaf, and fried chicken. I remember her chasing me and pinning me down so she could pull a tooth. Or how she ALWAYS took care of the Schwan's man, one time even letting him take a nap in the recliner. She always let us sit in her lap and drive down the road they lived on. Out of 7 grandkids I was the ONLY girl. With the exception of Luke, I and currently the shortest out of all of us. Before much longer, Luke will even be taller than me. Just for mental picture sake, I am 5' 10", I have an uncle that has to duck to walk through doorways and under ceiling fans and I am pretty 3 of my cousins have to do the same now.

My Granny is a unique person because she is an Identical twin. And I grew up hearing her say:
Worsh (wash)
"Listen" when she was watching her soaps or most memorable when she was watching the OJ Simpson Trial. She would always say "Listen, Listen" instead of turning up the volume.
We always joke about how she is a good cushion for us to lay on and how if we didn't finish our food, just hand it to Granny. When she knows we are coming to visit, she always has Kouri and Ryan their cookies, and my chocolate sheet cake. Growing up, for my birthday (Feb 7th) she ALWAYS made me a heart shaped strawberry cake topped with pink frosting and red hots. And when we "Hated" our parents, we always cried wanting to go to Granny's. Or "Im telling Granny!!"
Family means everything to me and around the Holidays it always reminds me of the ones who aren't with us. I miss each of them dearly and wished they could be here to see their family grow but I know some day everyone will be together again. I hope I can pass on to my kids what I have learned from them.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Walking a Little Closer

So recently Ladd and I have gotten into deep discussions about faith and church. After talking with my mom and uncle this past weekend, it really sparked a lot of questions. My mom and her brothers and sister grew up Catholic and my Grandma was devout in what she believed and was a true Catholic through and through. After discussing with my uncle about the church we went too and how Greyson is becoming more and more interested in all the Bible stories, it was said they never read the Bible thru nor did they know the Bible like they should. Growing up Catholic they were taught about the Bible but never taught FROM the Bible (does that make sense?), saying they don't EVER remember opening the Bible and reading from it. After our conversation I realized I have never read the WHOLE Bible either!

Well when Ladd got home from work late last night we started talking about different stuff and then it rolled into.. "How much do you love me?" After much discussion we both decided our love for one another could be stronger and majority of it is overflowing for our children. Then I brought up something our Pastor had said a few weeks back, "You should not love anything more than God." This sparked a WHOLE new conversation about the bible, faith, believing, and "proof".

I'm going to get real for a whole minute. So please hold all judgment and disbelief. Its taking a lot for me to put this out there for every one. Mainly wanting feedback and insight.

I remember when I was younger and attending the church down the street, someone had asked, if the Bible is real then where are the dinosaurs? They are obviously real, bc of fossils and the bones. "Proof?"

Ever since last year (yes the year from hell) I have had some serious doubts. I have tried to find answers by reading the Bible and devotionals and Bible studies but nothing is giving me what I want. After finally mustering up the courage to ask Ladd these questions last night all he could say was "You have to have faith Ashley. God doesn't give you things he knows you cant handle."  My biggest question (yes I'm putting it out there for the public/whole world wide web to see), my biggest question is: Why does God let bad things happen to good people? Last year for example. I don't consider myself a bad person, if anything I am a servant at heart and would do anything for a person in need.  So why did all that happen to me? What did I do to deserve those horrible circumstances!!?? Another question: Why is there hard core evidence of dinosaurs on earth but they were never mentioned in the Bible, but yet something as HUGE as the Ark WAS in the Bible but has never been found? Also: The Bible speaks of all these miracles, ie: Walking on water, turning water to wine, burning bushes, booming voice of God, parting the sea, healing, resurrection, protection in a lions den or whales stomach, etc., with all that's going on in the world today, why don't we see miracles just as prominent as these, today? If one was asked by God to sacrifice their first born to prove their devotion to God, 1.) We would go to prison, 2.) we would be thought of as insane, 3.) no body, I mean NO ONE would believe us if we said "God asked me too."

Yes the Bible is from the time that Jesus was here on earth so it makes sense those miracles happened then, but why not now? Why doesn't a booming voice come and tell us what to do? Or a bush bursts into flames, or the sick miraculously healed, or the blind can see, why is there so much HATE!!?? Which in turn causes doubt for so many!!??

So after discussing this for a while and with a lot of shoulder shrugging, Ladd and I decided to have a nightly Bible session, either over the phone or in person, we wanted to read through the whole Bible since neither of us had done it. So this morning we woke up and headed to the local Christian book store to find a few books to guide us on our journey.

One of the books we got is a year long devotional for couples. Its a daily guide through the Bible meant for couples and to help renew their love for one another as well as strengthen in God.

This one I got for myself. It has all the 'answers' to my crazy questions. I have already started reading it and it has said repeatedly, "It is normal to have doubts, especially if your mind is more scientific" Well it is. I am praying this will help me in pushing my doubts out and opening up for my Faith in God to renew and grow.  So tonight I sit here asking for prayers and guidance for Ladd and I as we start on this new path in life. I think it will be an amazing adventure!! Something we both need.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Most Annoying...

So I write/type this in complete... well.... I don't know how to describe it! I love those articles that bloggers write about moms and stay at home moms because they can put everything I want to say in just a short little post. But I think I agree with most moms who have more than one or two kids. The absolute MOST annoying thing someone could ever say to you is "Are those all your kids?" or "How many kids do you have??!" like I'm some freak show walking around with 3 kids. Or better yet.. "You are crazy for having that many kids." Growing up I thought a family of 5-6 was normal. I grew up with 2 brothers, mom and dad. My neighbors had 4 girls, mom and dad. So why wouldn't I think that a normal sized family WASNT normal? I can remember when each of those things were said to me. Some may blow it off and keep going, but when it comes to my children its hard to shake when someone thinks I'm crazy for having a family.

This afternoon, at the park just down the street form our home, someone made one of those comments to Ladd. Yes of course Ladd knew this person being in the small town he grew up, but none the less. In our "caravan" we had me with the stroller and Emma, Braelyn, Greyson and his friend, Chris (our neighbor), Ladd and Forrest. Sure we looked a little chaotic and full of energy, but the complete disbelief this lady expressed was baffling!! "How many kids do you have?!!" Still at this moment, hours later, I cant even comprehend, why?? What would she had done if I did say yes?! Can someone explain what is wrong with a "large" family? Which a family of 5 is NOT large to me. Its normal. COMPLETELY sane!!

I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM! Its my job to raise my children to be respectful, worthy, responsible, disciplined, hard working, God fearing, children who will grow up to be strong and independent. I want them to grow up to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes. I want to teach them what I have learned from MY mistakes. Its in my job description to raise my children, nurture them, to help them grow healthy, to teach them. We are fortunate enough that Ladd's job provides us with what we need to live comfortably. Yes I could get a job so we can get all those materialistic things a lot quicker, but I would rather be at home with my kids than be driving a fancy car or live in a huge house I couldn't keep clean. I'm not saying if you are a working mother you are less for it, but what I am trying to say is, God has put this love in my heart, and put me on this path in life, that staying at home is my dream job. Yes someday my children will be grown and move out and when that day comes, I will be beside myself. I hope that moment will slow in time and it wont have any hurry to get here. It is our (more so me) choice to have more than one child. Yes Greyson was a happy, welcoming surprise to the both of us, and Braelyn was strategically planned, and well, sweet Emma was a "We will let God decide when we are ready". At that point we decided we wanted a third child but wasn't pushing it, and was going to let happen, happen. Sure enough, in the smack dab middle of the worst, most terrifying, depressing, horrific time of my life, our life, God blessed us with a miracle that saved me. God had a plan even though what I thought was the worst timing, was the in the long run, the best timing. Now my beautiful daughter is healthy and full of spirit that I can never describe.

With all this being said, yes, I am a mother of 3 children. Yes I would LOVE to have more. Yes you read that right. MORE. Not just one but hell who knows, two. I love my family. I love kids. I love being a mommy. I know economically its not smart to have a lot of kids, but if you waited to have money to have kids, then I wouldn't be here, or my siblings. Sure research shows it will cost me well over quarter of a million dollars to raise just one child. But you know what. That's a well spent $750k bc I wouldn't change it for the world!! In my heart I don't think God wanted me to stop at Braelyn, and I still don't think he wants me to stop at Emma bc the love I feel is unconditional and I have lots of it. To think Emma as my last child is heart breaking. 

So why do I still feel like I am in a glass box on show for everyone when Im out in public with my 3 kids. Why is it SOOOO crazy to have 3 kids?! My mom came from a family of 9! NINE! 9 , people! NINE!! Haha.. She wasn't loved more or less than her siblings. My grandmother was an amazing mother who made everything look so easy! Why was it so normal back in the 50-60s to have LARGE families and now 2 is too many!!?? I shouldn't have to explain myself but I am really disoriented by such absurd comments.  Im not crazy. I just want a happy, loving family.  **END RANT**

On side note here are my favorites from our photo shoot with my dear friend Blaire.

photos by Sweet Pea Photography by Blaire.
Look her up on Facebook if you're in the Cypress/Tomball/Spring area!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Thats NOT mud!!

I have been trying to write this post for over a week now. Everytime I sit down to do it, something happens!!

Ok so about a week ago I started Emma on baby food. Well she LOVED it!! She already has the eager eating syndrome where she cant wait for the next bite, so you better have it ready, no lollie-gagging. So due to the solid foods, she has gotten a little more expressive in the "OutPut" area of things. I went from "No Diaper Accidents" to "Two in 2 days". So yeah its been interesting.
This is how I felt!! haha Watch it!!
Yeah when we took the onsie off it was up under her chin , all over in her hair and found it btw her toes!! It was DISGUSTING and was a two person job. If Ladd wasn't here I would have definitely had to hose down with her bc neither of the older kids would have helped. They ran the other way with their shirts over their noses and making gagging sounds.

Emma also turned 4months this month. She is getting so big and at her 4mth Well Check she weighed just over 15lbs and is in the upper 50-75% on everything.

She's getting so big and is considered a "Supported Sitter". Recently she has just learned how to blow bubbles and she is amazed at it and does it ALL the time!! The older two get a kick out of it!!

A few weeks ago we went to College Station for the first Aggie Football Game and to see Kyle Field since it just got a "FaceLift". Its GINORMOUS!! And so pretty!! Anyways the day was super HOT and we all sweated buckets but we made it through with only minimal tantrums. Greyson and Braelyn had tons of fun and got to see old friends, Avery and Kinley and got to meet Everett, which was his first Aggie Game Day too! Emma and Everett are only 2 days apart.

So a few things we have started doing in the past week or so.. One morning (Saturday, 20th) I laid Emma down under her play mat and went to the other room to get dressed. When I came back she had rolled over and was just "talking" away. I was like WHAAAAT!!?? Please stop GROWING!! Where did my sweet, sweet little infant baby go!!?

 I also started giving her some solid food every now and then to get her introduced to eating. Well she definitely likes it!! Just his morning she scarfed down some yummy carrots! Only catch with her, it has to be heated up, same with her bottle when I give her one. It cant be just warm, it has to be slightly on the "Hot Chocolate" warm side. If things aren't heated up she will turn her nose up to it. Spoiled little turkey!

So big sister came in the other day to come talk to Emma. Well they had an excellent conversation about baby dolls and Barbies. I am sure Braelyn CAN NOT wait till she will be old enough to play with her, Im sure there will be more fighting than playing but hey, a mom can dream!
Greyson absolutely adores Emma. He always wants to hold her and play with her. Although he wishes it was a brother instead, he still cant wait till she gets older so he can show her the ropes. 

Greyson's birthday is on the 25th and Ladd got called out to a rig and may not make it to his party on Saturday so we celebrated his birthday with a cake and a gift last Thursday night. Well over the past month or so Greyson has been really wanting a Snackeez. He saw the commercial and has really been trying to sell me on it. Every time we passed it in the store he would give his spill on how it will prevent messes and when he takes it in the car the drink wont spill and the snack wont get messy. I mean he had the commercial down pat man!! So I got him one for his 'Early Birthday' and he loves it. Instead eating his cereal in a bowl the other morning he wanted his milk in the cup and the cereal in the snack part. Haha.. silly kid!!