Walking a Little Closer

So recently Ladd and I have gotten into deep discussions about faith and church. After talking with my mom and uncle this past weekend, it really sparked a lot of questions. My mom and her brothers and sister grew up Catholic and my Grandma was devout in what she believed and was a true Catholic through and through. After discussing with my uncle about the church we went too and how Greyson is becoming more and more interested in all the Bible stories, it was said they never read the Bible thru nor did they know the Bible like they should. Growing up Catholic they were taught about the Bible but never taught FROM the Bible (does that make sense?), saying they don't EVER remember opening the Bible and reading from it. After our conversation I realized I have never read the WHOLE Bible either!

Well when Ladd got home from work late last night we started talking about different stuff and then it rolled into.. "How much do you love me?" After much discussion we both decided our love for one another could be stronger and majority of it is overflowing for our children. Then I brought up something our Pastor had said a few weeks back, "You should not love anything more than God." This sparked a WHOLE new conversation about the bible, faith, believing, and "proof".

I'm going to get real for a whole minute. So please hold all judgment and disbelief. Its taking a lot for me to put this out there for every one. Mainly wanting feedback and insight.

I remember when I was younger and attending the church down the street, someone had asked, if the Bible is real then where are the dinosaurs? They are obviously real, bc of fossils and the bones. "Proof?"

Ever since last year (yes the year from hell) I have had some serious doubts. I have tried to find answers by reading the Bible and devotionals and Bible studies but nothing is giving me what I want. After finally mustering up the courage to ask Ladd these questions last night all he could say was "You have to have faith Ashley. God doesn't give you things he knows you cant handle."  My biggest question (yes I'm putting it out there for the public/whole world wide web to see), my biggest question is: Why does God let bad things happen to good people? Last year for example. I don't consider myself a bad person, if anything I am a servant at heart and would do anything for a person in need.  So why did all that happen to me? What did I do to deserve those horrible circumstances!!?? Another question: Why is there hard core evidence of dinosaurs on earth but they were never mentioned in the Bible, but yet something as HUGE as the Ark WAS in the Bible but has never been found? Also: The Bible speaks of all these miracles, ie: Walking on water, turning water to wine, burning bushes, booming voice of God, parting the sea, healing, resurrection, protection in a lions den or whales stomach, etc., with all that's going on in the world today, why don't we see miracles just as prominent as these, today? If one was asked by God to sacrifice their first born to prove their devotion to God, 1.) We would go to prison, 2.) we would be thought of as insane, 3.) no body, I mean NO ONE would believe us if we said "God asked me too."

Yes the Bible is from the time that Jesus was here on earth so it makes sense those miracles happened then, but why not now? Why doesn't a booming voice come and tell us what to do? Or a bush bursts into flames, or the sick miraculously healed, or the blind can see, why is there so much HATE!!?? Which in turn causes doubt for so many!!??

So after discussing this for a while and with a lot of shoulder shrugging, Ladd and I decided to have a nightly Bible session, either over the phone or in person, we wanted to read through the whole Bible since neither of us had done it. So this morning we woke up and headed to the local Christian book store to find a few books to guide us on our journey.

One of the books we got is a year long devotional for couples. Its a daily guide through the Bible meant for couples and to help renew their love for one another as well as strengthen in God.

 

 

This one I got for myself. It has all the 'answers' to my crazy questions. I have already started reading it and it has said repeatedly, "It is normal to have doubts, especially if your mind is more scientific" Well it is. I am praying this will help me in pushing my doubts out and opening up for my Faith in God to renew and grow.  So tonight I sit here asking for prayers and guidance for Ladd and I as we start on this new path in life. I think it will be an amazing adventure!! Something we both need.